It's MzMartiPants to you!

Originally published at Marti Abernathey. You can comment here or there.

Originally published at Marti Abernathey. You can comment here or there.

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IMG00027.jpg, originally uploaded by mzmartipants.

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I didn’t tag this for the longest time, but I wanted to explain this photo. I was driving down the interstate and saw this van. There was a note in the back window that read: “Brake lights don’t work.”

Originally published at Marti Abernathey. You can comment here or there.

IMG00019.jpg, originally uploaded by mzmartipants.

Nik’s performance
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Originally published at Marti Abernathey. You can comment here or there.

IMG00008.jpg, originally uploaded by mzmartipants.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Originally published at Marti Abernathey.com. You can comment here or there.

I posted over at Transadvocate about my experience at the IFGE convention in Tuscon, Arizona. I kept to the positive, but there is another more negative side personally. One thing I noticed, was the hierarchies within the transcommmunity. How the “pretty people” , the crossdressers, the rich, the poor, all fall into clusters or clicks. Like most of my life, I feel like I don’t really fit anywhere. I’m not sure if that’s self perception, or just a natural reaction to others. Starting a non-profit, I’m going to have to attend a lot of these conferences. I’m finding myself fighting my own inner sense of not belonging. I’m fighting my own demons. One of the big demons right now is my weight. Someone I met at the conference asked me about my sexual preference. It was obvious that she was sexually attracted to me and wanted me. I told her flat out that my own shit, my body image issues, keep me from feeling comfortable with being physically intimate. Mind you, I wouldn’t have had sex with someone that hit on me at a conference. I just don’t do one nighters, but that wasn’t the point. The reality of me right now is that I just don’t think I could let someone in that close to me right now. It would definitely have to be someone that I trusted immensely. These demons are something that I really need to fight, if I want to be successful at the goals that I’ve set.

Then an incident in a online GLBT group I’m a part of really hit me square in the gut. I was reminded where in the hierarchy of importance a transwoman is. I’m still kind of reeling from that. It’s STFU or get out, at least that’s how it felt. Effectively while others can post their opinions, I can’t. Unless I’m quiet, I’m silent, I’m positive, I know my place, I won’t be allowed to be a part of the group. There’s a part of me that knows the importance of this group. I know that being a part of it has opened a lot of doors for me. But I also know that it’s just a matter of time before I’m kicked off. Shut up or leave. I’m really not sure which I can, or should do. Time will tell.

I’m trying to refocus things. I’ve decided that it’s time once again to compact my life, and my goals. Monday I start my part time job. It’s only three hours a day, but it’s going to cut into my blogging and political activities. I’m happy that I found it, but it’s going to be an adjustment. The money from this job is going directly into my savings account and will not be touched except for surgery. Donna Rose has talked recently about balance, and how important it is. One of the things I really miss is doing radio work. I have to make a place for that in my life. It brings me almost as much joy as my writing. But to fit that into my life is going to take removing something else. I’m going to take this weekend to figure out what that is.

I honestly wish that I could bottle the feeling I had in Tuscon. One friend in particular, I wish I had access to on a daily basis. Being around her in Tuscon felt like being around a fountain of youth. Her optimism and hope was really something that inspired me. I want to hold on to that inspiration and hope. It’s definitely hard for me. It’s against what I’ve been taught, what I’ve been told, and how others have treated me. I need more people like her (and my friend R.) in my life.

One of the things I’m going to let my readers into here, is my weight struggle. If you want to see my thoughts, feelings, and struggles on my way to my goal, bookmark Transfatty, my weight loss blog.

At times, hope is the only thing I cling to. This week has been one of those times.

Originally published at Transadvocate. Please leave any comments there.

I was a little ticked off at the HRC/Logo Presidential Forum, when Melissa Etheridge asked Governor Richardson if he thought that homosexuality is a choice or something that you are born with. First, I wasn’t aware that if you choose to have sex with someone that you are in jeopardy of losing your civil rights and more important, that it would be okay that your civil rights were revoked simply because you were able to make that choice.
Second, I wasn’t aware of any medical breakthroughs proving that homosexuality is something one is born with. I don’t think that any of us have a real choice when it concerns attractions. I’ve been attracted to both men and women. But, are we born with a predetermination of which sex we will be attracted to?
According to the American Psychiatric Association;

There are numerous theories about the origins of a person’s sexual orientation; most scientists today agree that sexual orientation is most likely the result of a complex interaction of environmental, cognitive and biological factors.

Should the question of choice Vs. Nature really have been brought up at a Presidential Forum
when the whole premise that homosexuality is not a choice is based on theory?
Furthermore, should the message that is sent to America from the largest LGBT organization be, that if it is a choice we don’t deserve civil rights?
I guess that when Melissa asked that question, she wasn’t thinking about a woman’s right to choose.

Originally published at Transadvocate. Please leave any comments there.

It was billed as the “HRC Foundation and Logo Presidential Forum” but you could have just as easily called it the “HRC and Logo Presidential Forum on Marriage Equality. But it wasn’t supposed to be that way.

According to Donna Rose’s blog:

“I have been told by people who would know that a decision has already been made that each candidate will be given a “T” question (their words, not mine). When I sent my list of questions this morning (the deadline was noon), part of the response I got back was that they particularly “like the more general ones because it requires them to be more forthcoming.”

For the record, there was ONE question during the entire forum that was a “T” question. Joe Solmonese asked John Edwards the following question:

“Susan Stanton is in our audience tonight. She was, for 17 years, the city manager in Largo, Florida. She did her job well; she was respected and admired. And when it was revealed that she was transgender, she was fired. So my question for you is if a member of your staff came to you and told you that they were transgender and that they were thinking of transitioning, how would you react to that? And who in your life has influenced what your reaction might be?”

Read the rest of this entry »

Originally published at Transadvocate. Please leave any comments there.

I really have no desire to go to the transphobic Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. I don’t really care to protest the event (with Camp Trans). If the Klan wanted to have a meeting out in the midde of nowhere, I’d let em. But the one thing DOES bother me about Michfest are the performers. Artists like Alix Olson, Melissa Ferrick, and Ferron are playing at an event that actively excludes transwomen. I keep thinking, should I refuse to go to any further shows or buy their albums? Is it anathema to support any of these artists?

I really do love Ferron.

Some music under the cut…

Read the rest of this entry »

Originally published at Transadvocate. Please leave any comments there.

From Alas, a blog

Amp has been personally attacked many times because of this cartoon. I believe it’s because it’s speaking truth. Some folks don’t like to see their own reflection, or refuse to believe it and react violently when they do.

Originally published at Transadvocate. Please leave any comments there.

A question recent posted on Lesbian Life at About.com asked

“Question: I am at the very early stages of being a transsexual, and I want to be a woman. I also love women. Could I consider myself a lesbian?”

I’ve struggled to define my own sexuality, so this question has been ever present in my mind.

Kathy Belge, of Curve’s “Lipstick and Dipstick” fame, responded by saying:

“Yes, transsexuals can be homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual. Gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things. Gender identity is the sex you believe yourself to be, regardless of what body you were born into.

Sexual orientation describes the gender of the people you are attracted to. Your sexual orientation can be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or straight.”

For the longest time I self identified as bisexual, but I’ve come to realize that my primary attraction is to women. I’ve never had the type of intimacy with a man that I’ve had women, and that’s at the center of what I want from a partner.

But, I’d never identify myself as a lesbian. There is too much drama that is involved with doing so. The words of a friend in the comments of my post “Is The Radical Feminist Movement Our Enemy?” sums it up best:

Sadly I’ve had too many recent encounters with lesbian women that have made me realize that most of the “acceptance” I thought I’d felt from them, including my best friend of two years, was fake. More like being politically correct so you don’t minimize the poor trannys’ plight. They’ll let you hang with them, but more as a freaky mascot or something. You are not getting admission into their world. In my personal experience, the biggest heap of prejudice I get is from gays and lesbians. They just seem incapable or unwilling to ever let you be anything beyond that T.

I’m not condemning everyone in the lesbian community. The attitudes are changing with time. The younger set of gays and lesbians seem to understand gender and sexual fluidity much easier than the older crowd does. But by the culture of lesbians that are around my age (I’m 39), I’m conditionally accepted.

I’m not going to fight to wear a label. When asked about my sexual orientation, I’ll just say that I’m a woman that loves other women.

Originally published at Transadvocate. Please leave any comments there.

I guess Randi’s transphobia isn’t something new.

I edited the clips down (I edited them for time, I did not rearrange or manipulate the content). If you want to hear the segments unedited, watch the youtube videos below.

I find it rather ironic that Randi’s reaction to Ann Coulter’s personal attacks is to attack Ann’s body, gender identity and sexuality.

Podcast:

http://podcasts.transactivists.com/TAR/media/2007-07-05_tacoulterrhodes2.mp3

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://youtube.com/v/K7VCwqJlJIo” width=”425″ height=”350″/]

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://youtube.com/v/KBf9eUk7_GI” width=”425″ height=”350″/]

oh, and for you gays and lesbians that are feeling left out, Ann’s turning people gay!

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://youtube.com/v/UYy3m-cOp2o” width=”425″ height=”350″/]

Originally published at Transadvocate. Please leave any comments there.

As the years go by, I tend to think that this culture is becoming more and more progressive. But I’ve seen snippets of the past that keep reminding me it isn’t exactly the case. Take this song for example, it came out in 1979.

sammyjoanne.mp3

You think this would make it on any album, much less get air play?

H/T to Popeye Pete

Originally published at Transadvocate. Please leave any comments there.

What the hell is the problem with the Philadelphia Police Department?

The police covered up the events that led to the murder of Nizah Morris in December of 2002. The city settled in a federal lawsuit that alleged that police and rescue workers contributed to her death.

On March March 21, 2007, (according to witness accounts) Roland Bottom repeatedly ran over Erica Keel after ejecting her from his car. A medical examiner’s report supports these accounts, classifying it as a a “hit-and-run accident.”

A spokesperson for the district attorneys office said “I’m not at liberty to discuss any of the evidence, because it’s an open investigation.” But police spokesman, Officer Raul Malveiro said that “He (Bottom) didn’t break any law, so his license wouldn’t be suspended.”

If there is no crime, then why is there still an open investigation?

A demonstration is being planned. For more information contact Savannah: 267-879-1339

H/T to Timothy Cwiek of Philadelphia Gay News. Timothy repeatedly reported on the Nizah Morris case. I posted his Radical Trannies interview with Timothy Cwiek here.

Originally published at Marti Abernathey. You can comment here or there.

Well, kinda. I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally want to go see “Jerry Springer: The Opera.”

I mean…who can resist dancing Klansmen:

and Jesus and the Satan telling each other to talk to the hand…

I’m so there.

It opens in Chicago May 14th.

Originally published at Marti Abernathey.com. You can comment here but Marti feels more love if you comment there. Registration is no longer required.

This is one of the most beautiful and dead on posts I’ve read in a while.

“am I a ‘feminist?’
If, by feminist, you mean I believe women should have social, political, economic and all other rights equal to those of men, I am a feminist.

If, by feminist, you also mean I am passionate about ‘women’s issues,’ such as rape, domestic violence, eating disorders, breast cancer, HPV awareness, women’s plight during wartime, and such, than you bet my big dykey boots I’m a feminist.

If, however, by feminist, you mean I have a duty to ‘educate,’ judge and possibly reject women based on their choices in areas of makeup/’femininity,’ porn, plastic surgery, sexual preference and/or identity; and that I should also reject transgendered folks and make general blanket statements about complex gray areas, then no, I am not a feminist.”

And this over at enterthejabberwock.com really made me swoon too.

As I’ve said in the past, and will say again: Telling a woman what she SHOULD feel and how she SHOULD behave is just as wrong when women do it as when men do it. It seems, unfortunately, that the “I Blame the Patriarchy” crowd is fighting so that women can behave the way THEY want women to behave, instead of fighting so that women - with vaginae, penises, or medically-installed vaginae - can behave however the women themselves individually want without oppression from either side. Which of these two approaches, ultimately, is truly liberation?

And I think maybe that’s the most important thing I can stress, here - something I feel is maybe being forgotten: OPPRESSION is the Patriarchy, not MEN. Thus, by exhibiting oppressive tendencies, you are - believe it or not - the Patriarchy! Fancy that.

There is nothing intrinsic to my having a penis that makes me a fascist. There is nothing intrinsic to oppression that makes it somehow “masculine”. Or “feminine”, for that matter. Oppression just IS, and attempting to assign it a gender imitates the same gender-role assignment and reinforcement that is supposedly being battled. You’re never going to eliminate oppression if you’re investing this much concern into trying to convince people that it’s phallus-shaped. And you’re only going to create oppression by trying to force people to adopt your perspective on gender identity.

What’s disturbing is that these people seem to be incapable of self-examination. It’s almost startling to read some of the criticism of certain things that irritate them about the Patriarchy, only to find them utilizing the same mindset shortly thereafter.

And so the oppression continues, from both sides. You have the Patriarchy crowd telling transgendered and transsexual women and men that they’re unacceptable because they violate the Patriarchy’s definition of what an “acceptable woman” is, and you have the I Blame the Patriarchy crowd telling transgendered and transsexual women and men that they’re unacceptable because they violate the I Blame the Patriarchy crowd’s definition of what an “acceptable woman” is. Where is the difference, here? What makes the latter group think they’re somehow doing a service to women?

and my love for belledame222 over at “Fetch Me My Axe” just grows and grows because of posts like this…

and if you’re specifically sneering at dressing up pretty/femmey and (uh oh) certain kinds of sex, or rather that people who indulge freely and unapologetically in such things and defend themselves from sneerage from their supposed allies, must needs not be serious activists, fluffy little “sparkle ponies” and “fuckbots” and so forth, guess what? You’re also a sexist. Quite possibly an actual misogynist. And a homophobe, and “sex-negative” (oh, shit), and just an overall patriarchal reactionary. Yep, you heard me. Listen up, because I’m as tired of going over this particular bullshit as you, but it needs to be said again, it seems:

So you don’t want to wear makeup, shave, wear high heels, have sex with boys or maybe any sort of sex at all. No feminist is telling you you have to. In fact, some of us believe that the whole fucking point of feminism is that you shouldn’t have to dress or have sex in any way that doesn’t make you happy, simply to please the Monolith, on account of your body belongs to you. And will fight, have fought rather hard for that basic principle in many ways. ‘K?

So how ’bout doing your sisters (and femmey brothers for that matter; yeah, one of these days, we really are going to have to talk about that some more) the respect of returning the favor, hm? How about giving up just that one pleasure of regressing to junior high and “uh mah god, LOOK what SHE’S wearing.” For -one- day.

“Not that I’m telling you what to do.” Christ, no.

Renegade Evolution’s post hit me today too…

Feminism is not fun, and often, it is downright frustrating. You see, contrary to popular belief, there is no such thing as a fun feminist. There are feminists with a sense of humor, and feminists who know how to have fun, but the ‘fun feminist’ (often also labeled the ‘sex-positive’ feminist) is as about as real as the Kraken, Big Foot, and ethical mob lawyers. They are a myth, an urban legend.

Oh, there is little doubt there are divisions in feminism, factions and different ideologies and what not, but that is honestly to be expected. Feminists are after all human, and humans have differing opinions and concerns and thoughts. We aren’t the Borg. And truthfully, I think those differences do not only keep us on edge and occasionally at one another’s throats, but on our toes, which is where feminists need to be, honing their “A Game” for the times they really need it. But it is not fun. And this whole ‘fun feminist’ thing? Yeah, starting to irk me just as much as, oh..say…the term pornstitution.

In exploring my gender issues, I’ve always been weary of those that seek to fit into some norm, just to fit in. I’m doing this to find my place in the sun, not go from one prison to another. The bloggers above are the kind of people I want to learn from, to grow with, and become friends with. Why?

They inspire me.

Originally published at Marti Abernathey.com. You can comment here but Marti feels more love if you comment there. Registration is no longer required.

I got this via my website IM client, Meebo:

meeboguest719485: Thank you for showing me who you really are. Sorry you came to the conclusion that I was crazy. I was codependent and going through a difficult time. I wish you could spend a couple of years with my ex and really get to know her. Is it true that you have the most womanly prostrate ever? How does it feel to know you will always be a mutilated man? The defenition of an addiction is any activity which has short term benefits and long term consequences. Truly, words have no power. Even though the mountain becomes the sea, Words cannot open another’s mind. No matter where you go, there you are.

Um..

…

Originally published at Marti Abernathey.com. You can comment here but Marti feels more love if you comment there. Registration is no longer required.

I recently hosted “The carnival of Bent Attractions” here at Marti Abernathey.com. Maria has decided to manage a second Blog Carnival, The Carnival of Shoes and Bags. Having a shoe obsession, I asked Maria if I could host it 202025756868878979 times. So far she’s only agreed to let me host it for the month of January. Pity.

Dana over at Mombian writes about her misconception that The Carnival of Shoes and Bags is only about fantastically beautiful Jimmy Choo’s.

“At first, I dismissed this as something of little interest. Since I’ve become a stay-at-home mom, sneakers are de rigeur, except in summer, when I don sandals and adhere to the dictum of “no socks between Memorial Day and Labor Day, unless hiking.” (This trend started several years ago as an outgrowth of the Laundry Reduction Act of 2004.) I thought my fashion apathy would bar me from the company of those blogging about Jimmy Choo and Manolo Blahnik. Maria has assured us, however, that she will accept any and all posts having to do with shoes (and presumably bags) of any type, age, or intended gender. She’s also interested in what people do with shoes, shoe manufacture, and the social aspects of shoes. Herewith, a reflection on children’s shoes from a lesbian mom’s perspective.”

About the extreme gender binary in kids fashion she said:

“Shoes seem to follow the unfortunate trend in children’s clothing to be branded with action items for the boys (trucks, trains, superheroes) or flowers and frills for the girls (along with the usual assortment of branded characters). Even Robeez has the image of a pink princess holding the hand of a blue pirate on its Web homepage. Sigh. I knew it was a gendered, hetero-centric world, but there’s nothing like buying children’s clothing to drive it home.”

Tom Twerk expressed surprise with the Nike 6.0 Limited Edition Seagle Oncore. Inspired by a custom six-wheeled AMC Eagle, Tom states:

“I was kind of skeptical when I heard this because, well, the car sounds like a monstrosity. Fortunately, the shoes turned out extraordinarily fresh.”

Speaking of monstrosities, FabSugar posted about Victoria’s Secret’s metallic space boots and asked her readers to choose between silver and gold.

“I know I mentioned intergalactic planetary looks as a Spring trend, and this is one of the more polarizing trends, but these are over the top! These Victoria’s Secret metallic space boots found by jgasia are sci fi style gone wrong - I think. What do you think, love or hate?”

While most of the comments were negative, I think i like the pink ones (shhhh don’t tell anyone).

MissMalaprop got her own share of negative comments on this spiffy pink “brain bag.”

She said:

“I love this pink brain bag by New Orleans-based Etsy designer Baking With Medusa! I’ve been a big fan of her shop for quite sometime now, so I can’t believe I didn’t notice this particular bag sooner.”

Jason Y commented, saying

“Very interesting idea. But I think the brain shape is a bit too much for me.”

I have to disagree with Jason, this….

is too much. Anything short of THAT is within the boundries of good taste, me thinks.

Stefan from German Impressions discusses the recent arrival of handbag rental to Germany.

“A lot of women are mad about handbags and particularly luxury models are in demand. Unfortunately only few women can afford them, so the idea of a handbag rental emerged. (It follows the Ferrari rental example, where you can rent a Ferrari for a weekend to be a bit of a stud.)”

Reminds me of the old business adage from Jean Paul Getty, “If it appreciates, buy it. If it depreciates, rent it.”

Jessica Cutler blogged about her infatuation with a pair of $89 (usd) red peep-toe Loubou knock-offs.

I’ll leave you with a the wise advice of Cary Grant (that I found over at Shoeyorkcity):

“I’m reminded of a piece of advice my father gave me regarding shoes: it has stood me in good stead whenever my own finances were low. He said, it’s better to buy one good pair of shoes than four cheap ones. One pair made of fine leather could outlast four inferior pairs and, if well cared for, would continue to proclaim your good judgment and taste no matter how old they become. It is rather like the stock market. It makes more sense to buy just one share of blue chip than 150 shares of a one-dollar stock.”

Originally published at Marti Abernathey.com. You can comment here but Marti feels more love if you comment there. Registration is no longer required.

is Terminal Moraine and this post is a perfect of example of why. My love, R, says that she falls in love with beautiful minds. Terminal Moraine is definitely brain candy.

Originally published at Marti Abernathey.com. You can comment here but Marti feels more love if you comment there. Registration is no longer required.

In reading one of my new favorite blogs, Feministe, and I came across this post. Jane Gault of Asymmetrical information had linked to a previous post at Feminste, dealing with food stamps. She said

“I started to wonder: what is this “EBT” thing that’s on all the supermarket checkout card machines? So I asked the checkout woman. She stared at me.

‘That’s for food stamps,’ she said, finally. She was black. I am so white that sometimes, in the early morning, I blind myself in the bathroom mirror. I have never felt like such a dumb, privileged middle class white girl in my life. Ever.”

Jill (one of the authors at Feministe) then mentions a trackback to her food stamp post, from dispatches from TJICistan.

The title of his post is, “Jane, you’re (sic) disappoint me!”

In this post, he said:

“In short, I really don’t care if Feministe calls me a racist. I know it not to be true, at least by any sane definition of the word, and the people whos opinions I care about also know it to be true. I support Rice for president, if she runs. I pushed to hire the first black engineer into my division at my first job after college. I support race-blind policies at all levels of government (for as long as we fall short of anarchotopia, at least).”

Which is nothing short of, “I’m not a racist, I’ve got black friends!”

But then posts this:

So, to all you Negros, GET A JOB!… because TJICISTAN says so!

Originally published at Marti Abernathey.com. You can comment here but Marti feels more love if you comment there. Registration is no longer required.

Maybe that’s denegrating poop, I’m not sure. From Jen at Transcending Gender:

“On ‘The Situation with Tucker Carlson’, MSNBC host Tucker Carlson made defamatory comments about Lily McBeth, a transgender New Jersey substitute teacher. In reporting on McBeth’s story Carlson said, ‘I’m pretty tolerant of whatever people want to do, very tolerant, in their private lives. If men want to dress up like women that’s fine. I think it’s dorky, but you know, it doesn’t hurt me. If a person voluntarily undergoes castration, that is totally different. That is an act of a crazy person. That’s like setting your hair on fire or blinding yourself. You are unstable if you voluntarily castrate yourself simply because you feel uncomfortable in your own sex and I don’t want a person that unstable teaching my kids.’

Um…wait…

Matthew 19:12 (King James Version)
King James Version (KJV)

“For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.”

eunuch - a man who has been castrated and is incapable of reproduction. http://wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

Freakin idiot.