It's MzMartiPants to you!

One of my co-workers, Jill, was the first person I ever revealed my trans issues to. The longer we worked together, the closer we became. I knew she would accept me, and that their was NO chance of rejection. So one night, after work, I pulled her aside. I had my laptop with me, and pics of my website, on the hard drive. I pulled up a pic of me, and asked her if she knew who it was. I seriously thought I was going to have an anxiety attack or pee my pants, right there. She looked up, and just started screaming ....NO way! Your so cute! Then over the next couple of weeks, the questions came in droves. I felt great that someone finally knew, and was ok with it. One day, at lunch, she shared a part of her own life that was hidden deep, and to be honest, it truly blindsided me! We came to know and share things that had never been spoken outside of our safety net. I learned an unexpected lesson, outing myself to her. My voulnerbility had allowed her to open up and share her own deep feelings. She knew that my intentions were honorable and that I could be trusted. Soon after, another person at work started working with me. Her name was allison, and I automatically felt comfortable with her. She was a younger version of me :) She was always putting herself down, and didnt know how great she really is. As the days rolled by, I found that I was falling in love with her. For the first time in my life, I could tell another human being that I wanted more... and not be burdened by fear of rejection. Actually, I knew odds were, that she wasnt interested in a relationship. Shes younger and still wants the family, the wedding, the house, the babies, ect.... All things I either already had, or couldnt provide. One day, It just came out. She asked me if ,hypothetically, I was interested in her, or why I "wouldnt" be interested. I told her, without hesitation how I felt. I said, "It isnt a hypothetical, I do like you." For a few weeks afterwards, she pulled away, but I just maintained my regular demeanor. One night she admitted that she didnt want me "in that way." Gawd, in times past, that would have KILLED me. This time it was different, though. I told her that I actually understood, and that I didnt take it personally. I didnt expose my feelings for her because I wanted a date, or a physical relationship. I told her, because I wanted to be honest and open with her. I wanted her to know me, and who I am. I wanted her to know how deeply I felt for her. Technically, yes, she rejected me. Today we are very close friends, so I dont regret being honest. I also dont feel a bit rejected by her. I am not what she needed or wanted for her life. That is NOT a reflection on ME..but a reflection of her needs. I was brutally honest, and good came from it. She would share things with me that she had never told anyone! That situation solidified things for me.....if you bare your soul, others will often bare theirs. Ive never regreted being open and honest.