It's MzMartiPants to you!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_time#Differences_among_countries_and_recent_trends

apollotiger: If I could make you a prostate of your own and give it to you I would
peaceofpie: dude
peaceofpie: that would be the best birthday present ever :D

Wow, I'm bored.

Here is another opportunity to ask me strange, random, existential, and/or thought-provoking questions. Go for it! I shall entertain myself by answering them.

This is for a really good cause. My friends are selling their possessions and raising money to buy a pet supply store where they will also host homeless pet adoptions. If you can spare ONE DOLLAR, you can help out and maybe win an IPOD TOUCH!!! ! How freaking awesome is that?

John says " If you have ever spent $ on PackRat tickets, Mafia Wars/Street Racing/Zynga "Award Points", myFarm credits, Pet Society Gold or ANYTHING like that, I truly, truly hope that you can spare just $1 to buy our graphics/play OUR game that could win you a 16GB iPod Touch! And please, PLEASE pass our link around! We need as many people as possible to enter! :D"

Even if you don't donate (again, JUST A DOLLAR) and play, won't you please repost this? It is for a great cause for some people that are SO good to animals and have been so giving for a long time.

Click here and play, maybe win, and definitely help people that are helping homeless animals.

I just made a fairly image heavy post in my own LJ and I invite you all for a tour. But here are a couple of samples:






For those of you who're members of more than one of these LJs, sorry for the spammage.

I've been incommunicado for a while.

I did, however, go to a barbecue where I talked it up with many of the usual suspects. After we'd all had quite a bit to drink, we talked philosophy, and I realized (for about the umpteenth million time) that my opinions regarding emotions and the meaning of life are not very easy to communicate. So, I'm going to elaborate here.

( Read more... )

If anyone is interested in a visit from your friendly purple-headed travelling massage therapist, let me know! I will happily travel long or short distances. Prices are negotiable and barter may be acceptable.

The State of Indiana thinks that I should legally change my name.

I think they should go fuck themselves, but I'm trying to come up with a more rational way to deal with this.

I don't know why, but I just don't feel like it's time for me to legally change my name. I'm not committed enough to this name that I want to throw all that time and money into it, and I feel like I shouldn't have to do that to get a massage license.

The response I got was "Yes, this will pose a problem as the State of Indiana requires that you submit proof of a legal name change if your name appears different on any of your documents." Like, seriously, that's all it said. Yes, this will pose a problem? GREAT, what are we going to DO about the problem? How is it even remotely useful to tell me "yes this will pose a problem"?

Okay, well...now I get to figure out what to do about this problem.

Today I have been informed that I should find myself a friend with benefits. Or have someone find one for me.

Given that I haven't even kissed another person since several genders ago, and pretty much hit the reset button on my sex life when I started T, don't even have the remotest idea how to find a friend with benefits or even what I'd do with one if I had one...this could be an interesting mission.

Hmmm.

I mean...I totally have at least a couple friends I would be totally into doing that with, but I feel like it would be so awkward to even bring it up that it's not worth risking the friendship, and it's not like I see them often enough to make risking the friendship worth it? I dunno. I don't understand how this works.

The best was when I announced this in a group meeting tonight, and got the response "You JUST figured that out? I've been reading your LJ for two months and even I already knew that," and everyone else in the room who reads my LJ nodded. It was kinda surreal.

Here's my gorgeous courgette flowers this morning.



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So, my penis is the internet and my pelvic area is an electromagnetic avatar of the bermuda triangle??!

No wonder I never get laid!

So the power cord I just bought like six weeks ago? To replace the power cord that caught fire in my bed? JUST CAUGHT FIRE. IN MY BED.

WHAT THE FUCK??

I'm going to blow way too much money on a new one tomorrow. Please, God, don't let this become a regular event? I know we like to have some excitement from time to time but FLAMING WIRES IN MY BED IS THE WRONG FUCKING KIND OF EXCITEMENT.

This whole thing, while funny and disturbing, is not safe for work, or mother.

Special note to my mother Turn away now. Stop reading. Just no. DON'T click on anything.


Okay, now that I have written that and my mom is continuing to read this anyway (Hey, I did my part) lets get down to this

I am sure most of you have heard of or seen Daniel Tosh's new show Tosh 2.0. He basically shows web clips and riffs on them. He is hilarious and we are in love and he is going to have my babies and all that.

A bit ago, he mentioned that people should google Demi Moore's bush and apparently they did. It was the number one google for five days in a row.

This is the blog site he was referring to. I am putting the picture under this cut so no one gets angry, in trouble at work, scars thier children, or is afraid to look at what appears to be a woman birthing a cat.

( MEOW! )

I am not a huge fan of this whole movement of women must look like 8 year old in their girlie bits (especially the chicks who are having surgery to have pieces of them lopped off so they more resemble a barbie. ) I don't understand what is wrong with a fully grown woman LOOKING like a fully grown woman. However, this photo of Demi makes me get it just a little. I mean when shaving and waxing became all the rage, she must have had to go panty shopping as I am sure she went down a size or two.



Thanks,  Daniel Tosh, for making me see things I cannot unsee.

Y'all don't have to thank me. You are already welcome. *kiss*

Wash regularly peeps!
(I'm left wanting some squeezy cheese on toast!)

http://www.bestgore.com/medical/giant-zit-under-skin-video-nasty-pus-squeezed-out/

Do YOU know what two of the following are called? (If they were programs?)



Which is it for computer vir.... whatsits?

Read more...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plural_of_%27virus%27

"Two people in the Chester area are recovering after being diagnosed with swine flu.

Western Cheshire NHS chief Helen Bellairs, confirmed the patients had been given anti-viral drugs, adding: "We have only had two cases in Western Cheshire. They are getting better.

Even during the hot summer months, when such viruses are less common, swine flu has hit the headlines with cases at Glastonbury festival at the weekend and the death of a six-year-old girl in Birmingham."

http://www.chesterchronicle.co.uk/chester-news/local-chester-news/2009/07/02/two-swine-flu-cases-in-west-cheshire-59067-24056858/

It is so good to be home.

It was good to be gone, and it is good to be home. It is good to have a home to go home to. So good, so good, so good.

I miss my f/Friends so much.

But, I am home.

Nine hours in the car by myself was exactly what I needed today. Nine hours to scream and cry and sing and pray and eat handfuls of chocolate, to remember all the adventures I have had this past month and also all the things I am excited to come home for. Nine hours to think about Bonnie, about all the love that she is and was and will be, about all the ways her love is going to live on, about all the questions I wish I could ask her, about where I might have put the notebook where I sketched a couple dozen Bonnie Tinker stick figure doodles during the workshop I took with her at Gathering last summer and whether I'll be able to find them or if I'm going to have to draw them all over. Nine hours to remember all the silly little things that aren't so little now. Nine hours to think about all the stuff she wanted me to do that I haven't done yet, to make sure I don't forget it and that I actually do it. Especially the stuff I didn't really think I'd have the balls to actually do.

I wish I'd exercised a little more forethought in leaving some food in the freezer that I could heat up to eat when I got home, but I'll remedy that with a trip to the store tomorrow. A trip to one of my beloved local food stores that I know like the back of my hand, because they are HOME and I ALWAYS get my food there so I know EXACTLY where to find the things I want.