It's MzMartiPants to you!

pretty self explanatory

@MrsASoprano: "Goodbye" I had such a crush on Jake Blades in high school. :)

@TarinnAdaria: "@DJC2 - more covers -Dar Williams – Comfortably Numb" /uggg, I think I'm sensing a theme

@ATG unfortunately my relationships were more like this... I try to stay positive, but it's hard when this is your life.

I was sitting here listening to this on my iPod, and it shocked me how dead on this song is.

I really love Amy Ray/Indigo Girls, but the fact that AR is playing MichFest makes it hard. Color me conflicted.

I'm a sucker for anything Boy George. This is no exception. I do just want to be loved....

More than MJ, this takes me back to the mid 90s. How white am I?

I heard this in a beer commercial and can't stop listening to it! Damn you Heineken!

If you aren't awake... this got me out of bed and started the day :) Yes, I'm that old.

This song connects with me, I can't find another song that hits me harder and defines my life right now better.

Originally published at Marti Abernathey. You can comment here or there.

Originally published at Marti Abernathey. You can comment here or there.

I’m sitting here on the Indianapolis Museum of Art’s grounds enjoying the weather, the beautiful surroundings, and just thinking about how good my life is right now.

The last time in my life where I felt the world (and in particular the USA) was in such a bad space was during the hostage crisis back in the late 70s. The economy sucked, gas rationing was a reality, and the general feeling I got from others was that it was a time to fear, a time to be afraid, a time to suffer. With the crappy economic outlook, two wars that seem will never end, and unemployment rising, it feels much worse that even those times did.

It’s ironic when most of the world seemed to be clicking into a good spaces, my life was falling apart. Now that the world seems to be going in the shitter, mine is kicking into high gear. I’m making more money than I ever have, I having more personal success than I ever have, and my personal life is filled with wonderful people that love me in a way that I’ve never experienced. Don’t get me wrong, I’m concerned that the shitty economy is going to swoop in and affect my life. But right now when people are worrying about their 401k or their house payment, I’m thinking about what I want to do next with my life. I’ve resisted putting any money in the stock market because it goes against my general philosophy of life. I don’t want to make money that I didn’t really earn. To me, the stock market has always seemed like a fancy casino that I don’t have the money to waste on. I paid for my car (a 2001 Hyundai Accent) with cash, I rent an apartment that’s definitely below my means, and I don’t buy expensive toys or hobbies. I decided long ago that while I live in a consumer culture, I don’t have to participate in it the way that a lot of people do. I watch very little television (Olbermann and Maddow are the exceptions), and most of my free time is spent writing or doing political work.

I’m happy. And that’s not an emotion that I’ve been able to claim reliably since 1997. Fuck it, I can accept the guilt… this time in my life is too sweet.

Originally published at Marti Abernathey. You can comment here or there.

I took my last estrogen injection two weeks before the Democratic National Convention. I kind of planned it that way, due to my fear of blood clots (due to my age, estrogen therapy, and the change in elevation). When I got back to Indianapolis I called my pharmacy to get a refill (I buy my estrogen at a deep discount from a company in Nevada) and they told me that they’re having issues with my state and that my order would be delayed. I also was getting more and more close on cash. I actually had to overdraft a couple things to have enough food to last me till payday, so I put buying my medications on hold. So I’ve went for roughly a month without my estrogen injection and a couple weeks without my testosterone blocker (Spironolactone).

The effects have been invisible to most people, but they’re driving me crazy! It’s been amazing how fast my body hair grows, how the mornings become distracting, and how much more my mind is focused on physical things.

I think every transsexual goes through a period of questioning their choices, wondering if they’ve made the right ones. This break from HRT has definitely removed any of those questions/doubts. It’s actually made me think of speeding up having an orchiectomy. I don’t ever want to feel like this again.

You know it's bad when you receive this email in your OkCupid inbox:

Nothing signifies good dating material like naming yourself after Quagmire's signature phrase.

Then you should read this. It's the best piece on white privilege and entitlement I've read in a while.

I'm just testing out blog it, on facebook. Carry on :)

Originally published at Marti Abernathey. You can comment here or there.

I need to close my Facebook account, because I’ll never have another friend add as funny as this:

Originally published at Marti Abernathey. You can comment here or there.

I recently wrote about my high school experience over at Classmates.com:

I had so much bad stuff going on in my life, I came to school to get away from the drama at home. I really didn’t care to do the work (something I regret now). School was more of a social hour for me than anything else. But there were a few teachers that stood out for me. It took me 4 years to pass 10th and 11th grade English (if you count summer school as a year). One class I didn’t fail was Mrs. Stumpf’s 11th grade English. She saw through my troubled exterior and gave me the tools to become the writer/blogger that I am today. In my teen years I searched for an outlet to express myself and be creative. She gave me the tools to find it, and I’ll be forever grateful to her for that gift.

Mr. Wright was another teacher that inspired me. It wasn’t so much how he taught or what he taught, but how he treated others. He taught through all the bullshit that was going in my life and inspired me enough to fall in love with American history and politics. He was strict in the classroom, but he was totally fair. I saw him recently and he hasn’t changed much at all. I’m sure he still talks about Cool Hand Luke and adores Ronald Reagan.

I have to include Mr Hawkins as inspiration. It wasn’t on a positive note that he inspired me. He was kind of a nasty person. But one day I was looking for my girlfriend (Suzy Adamo) and I overheard Mr. Hawkins and another teacher comment about me. In reference to me he said, “oh, he’ll never amount to anything.” That and the fact that Suzy’s parents thought I’d never “become anything”, drove me in my twenties to do all the things I did that made me successful. They both filled me with the fear of being a failure in life. I also wanted, in the back of my mind, to prove them wrong. Those words and thoughts hurt me at the time, but I’m grateful for them now.

These three teachers were the most significant to me because they all had one thing in common… impact. The cut through all my problems and spoke to my heart and inspired me to do and be a better human being. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.

Originally published at Marti Abernathey. You can comment here or there.

Recently I got my name and gender changed legally. I went to the health department to have my records changed. One of the women at the ISDOH pulled me in an office to tell me that “Usually it doesn’t take so long to process this, but since you’re adopted, it takes longer.”

I must have looked punched… she covered her mouth and said “You didn’t know?”

So, ya… thanks Mom.